Talking about confidence

[chrisvenus]

I read something that suggested that finding out more about confidence from the point of view of others was helpful to building your own self-confidence. So here we go. I am at times very un-confident in myself so I am going to ask a few questions to get people going on the subject. If you want to add in more comments or questions then feel free. I have a vague feeling I did something similar before but now I'm copying from a book so it will be much better. Anonymous posting welcome if you don't want to put your name to your answers. :)

1) What do you think confidence is?

2) Where does confidence come from?

3) Can you think of someone who is completely confident?

4) How can you tell if someone is confident or not?

5) How do you feel when you talk to someone who is not at all confident?

6) Does a confident person always feel confident?

and my own one for number 7:

7) What is the difference between being confident and acting confident?


I will try to put up my own answers later but I don't have time right now.

Comments

[smallbluesphere.livejournal.com]

1) What do you think confidence is?
Confidence is beliving in and trusting yourself.

2) Where does confidence come from?
Realising that all the little flaws that you see in everything you do aren't seen by other people.

3) Can you think of someone who is completely confident?
No. In general, these days, I'm pretty bloody confident, but even I have low points, mostly late at night in the dark on my own. I think everyone does.

4) How can you tell if someone is confident or not?
Hmm. I don't know, I'm not good at that sort of thing. I find it something I generally learn about someone as I get to know them better.

5) How do you feel when you talk to someone who is not at all confident?
It depends on the person. For example: I have several friends who have confidence issues, with one I simply offer reassurance, with another I get frustrated as they never seem to take the good advice everyone gives them with a third who asks for advice in a sensible way, I always try to give it in an equally sensible way. Some generalisation in that answer.

6) Does a confident person always feel confident?
See 3. I very much doubt it.

and my own one for number 7:

7) What is the difference between being confident and acting confident?
Acting confident is, I suspect, what quite a lot of us do, at least to start with, although you still doubt your abilities you get on with things anyway and hope.
Being confident can follow from acting confident, when you realise that by acting confident you've been able to get on and do something, and all the little problems and flaws you see in it aren't seen by everyone else and you realise that, actually, you've done well, and that you can actually do this, and maybe all those little problems and flaws don't matter.

Wow, I found those much harder to answer than I first thought, and I ended up being much more verbose on that last answer than what I wanted to be. Interesting.