Talking about confidence

[chrisvenus]

I read something that suggested that finding out more about confidence from the point of view of others was helpful to building your own self-confidence. So here we go. I am at times very un-confident in myself so I am going to ask a few questions to get people going on the subject. If you want to add in more comments or questions then feel free. I have a vague feeling I did something similar before but now I'm copying from a book so it will be much better. Anonymous posting welcome if you don't want to put your name to your answers. :)

1) What do you think confidence is?

2) Where does confidence come from?

3) Can you think of someone who is completely confident?

4) How can you tell if someone is confident or not?

5) How do you feel when you talk to someone who is not at all confident?

6) Does a confident person always feel confident?

and my own one for number 7:

7) What is the difference between being confident and acting confident?


I will try to put up my own answers later but I don't have time right now.

Comments

[anotherusedpage.livejournal.com]

1) Confidence is a mask to be put on when needed. It's walking in to the room and pretending I assume that everyone in it is going to like me instead of hating me. It's prentending I don't think I'm just on the verge of fucking everything up beyond all hope of return.
Social confidence - the mask I wear - is a big issue for me, because the more you wear it, the more likely you are to get to walk into a room full of people who like you and want to spend time with you. But the less you can take it off. People perceive you as confident - they assume you can get things done, they assume you'll be ok, they assume you won't freeze up and panic just attempting to make polite conversation...
2) The reason I'm better at wearing the mask than some people I know? I act. I role-play. I'm good at pretending.
3) No. But then I tend to assume no one could be that sort of person all the time just because I know I can't.
4) It's... something that they project. You can feel it. It can lift the mood of a group of people, get things going.
5) Depends on the person. Often, somewhat irritated, I have to admit. I often get a sense of false-modesty.
6) No.
7) As far as I can tell, there isn't one. I've never met anyone who was as confident as they looked...

[anotherusedpage.livejournal.com]

I realise I've missed out on the part of confidence which goes with knowing you are good at something. Like... for me, that would be playing music in front of large groups of people. I'll sing concerts having skipped all the rehearsals because I have the confidence to know I'll put all the notes in the right place anyway. That's just... acurate knowledge of what you know, and often that's a bluff anyway. Like, if you show up to that concert pretending you know all the notes, and you stand up on stage and look like a professional, people tend to assume you got all the notes right whether you did or not. That's why I think it's always a bluff and not a measure of skill. *shrug*