Sales people

[chrisvenus]

I made a massive achievement today and I'm not quite sure how. I managed to get the sales person phoning me to hang up on me.

After the usual spiel of "I see your vodafone contract is due to expire soon" I soon knew that this woman had absolutely no idea of my current state of affairs. You see, for the last six years or so I've been an orange customer and so I get to laugh a lot when they tell me that my vodafone contract is going to expire. The slight irony is that I might be changing back to vodafone at some point. Anyway, having explained this to the girl there is a delayed pause and so I say "Thanks for calling" at which point she replies slightly huffily "We haven't finished the conversation yet". So I reply politely (I'm always willing to give them courtesy) "Sorry, I--" and then am cut off as she hangs up on me.

I have a suspicion that there might have been some kind of mute related incident whereby the pause in the conversation was her saying something to me but really that ain't my fault.

Though, if you are somebody that doesn't like sales calls and doesn't mid being rude try just saying "Well, thanks for calling" whenever you feel appropriate and just see how long til you can get them to hang up.

The amusing thing is that this call for a change didn't withhold her number and I was sorely tempted to phone them back up and ask to speak to her again because we hadn't finished the conversation. :)

Comments

[cjholding.livejournal.com]

Good effort, I'll have to try that next time.

Last time I said "I'm not interested" after they introduced themselves and the response was "I haven't said what I'm offering yet...", to which I responded "I'm registered with Telephone Preference ...", they hung up at point.

[hsenag.livejournal.com]

The last phone contract salesman I got, I asked him for his name. After a bit I got his first name, then while trying to get his last name he hung up on me in a huff.

[jakemalone.livejournal.com]

I hope you're aware you 'may have been recorded for training purposes', so next time they ring up they will know how to cope with your response. A bit like the Borg. No, actually, exactly like the Borg.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

"Argh, they've adapted to our phone response!"

"Hang up!"

"I can't, they've put in some kind of jamming field around the handset..."

etc.

[chrisvenus]

*grin* THat gives me a great image of some phone with a big bodged together device on the bank with a frequency modulater to bypass their jamming fields and stuff... If only I was a better photoshopper... :)

[elethiomel.livejournal.com]

I love playing with those people.

I had a call a few months back from some third-party company telling me they saw from their records I was due for an upgrade (which I wasn't). I asked how they got my number and the chap on the phone told me that they contracted to the four big networks and were authorised by them to do upgrade packages. I told the chap that I was quite happy with my current phone, but thanks very much for the help and could I call back when I did want an upgrade. He fell over himself to give me his name and extension number.

Some simple research confirmed that these people were not authorised or contracted to Vodafone (my supplier at the time) and provided me with a manager's phone number at 'third-party-company'.

I phoned the manager and asked him whether it was company policy for their employees to lie to potential customers or whether John Smith on extension 1234 had been acting on his own initiative, etc. etc.

I enjoyed that so much...

By the way - have posted my movements on my LJ - meeting up for the purpose of...

[malakite.livejournal.com]

I enjoy playing with that sort - however, my current bugbear is people ringing up to speak to a Mr/Mrs Obreide(sp?). Despite me explaining any number of people from the same company that they're not here and haven't been using this number since last October, the gits still keep on ringing. Last time they rang (and I was home), they asked to speak to that person, I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds so I didn't immediately verbally roast them. I think the guy at the other end realised what he'd just narrowly avoided and hung up before I could say a word.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

frax got one the other day and just said "Oh no, I'm really tired!" and the telephonist just said "Sorry to bother you!" and let her go. Bet that doesn't happen too often though.

[mentalfirewall.livejournal.com]

I told one person 'I'm with the telephone preference service' and they kept talking to me. I repeated I was with the TPS and then they asked what that was... so I told them it meant I could get their name and company and then threaten them with legal action. Then they apologised profusly and said they'd make a note of it...
They phoned back a couple of hours later but this time when I said I'm with the TPS they hung up pretty quick.

[lathany.livejournal.com]

Yep, we're with the TPS and take that line with all cold calls too.

[evath.livejournal.com]

I seem currently to get to T before they hang up. I'm sure they used to apologise.

[secretrebel.livejournal.com]

A couple of weeks ago I weas cold-called by a company telling me that I had been selected to take part in an exciting offer and had won a gift certificate worth etc etc. I said I wasn't interested, disengaged myself as politely as possible and hung up.

Two hours later someone else called form the same company.
Me: I said I wasn't interested.
Them: But you don't understand, it's a free gift certificate etc etc
Me: I think you don't understand. I'm simply not interest...
But before I could finish speaking they hung up.

What was that about? They wanted to satisfy themselves that they had rejected me rather than the other way around? Hmm, really need to register myself on the telephone preference service.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Mm, maybe supervisor calling to make sure that first operative hadn't just wussed out on you...

[chrisvenus]

slow day? :)

[magicalsushi.livejournal.com]

We're getting a phoneline soon. I think it could be worth messing around with cold callers for a bit, before eventually joining the TPS once I'm bored. I'll have to plan some techniques. Jenny One Question is the first to spring to mind, but I doubt you can make that work over the phone. Hmm...

[chrisvenus]

I'm not sure I'm familiar with "Jenny One Question"...

[magicalsushi.livejournal.com]

Oops, Wikipedia tells me she's Lady One Question. I must be deaf.

She was the best part of Banzai; the successor to Mr. Shake Hands Man (the only other good bit). In case you're not familiar with her predecessor, I'll explain. The idea of Banzai is that they do weird things and you bet on the outcomes with your friends, then watch to see who was right. Mr. Shake Hands man would interview celebrities at the edge of the red carpet at flashy events, like many journalists. He would shake their hand when they approached him - also like many journalists. However, unlike the other journalists, he wouldn't let go. He'd ask perfectly reasonable questions, but all the while, he'd continue shaking the celebrity's hand. You placed bets on how long it would be before contact was broken.

It was a great idea, but not quite perfect. Because he was touching the celebrities, it was an issue for security personnel to deal with - it was rare for the celebrities to break contact themselves, partly because they didn't want to look unfriendly on camera, and partly because Mr. Shake Hands Man wouldn't let them. This meant the outcome tended to be quite similar each week.

Lady One Question to the rescue! She had a different technique. She would interview the celebrities, but give a normal handshake. As her name suggests though, she would only ask them one question. It was always something fairly open-ended. The celebrity would give a brief answer, then stop for the next question. But Lady One Question would resolutely keep the microphone pointed at them, a blank expression on her face. The celebrity would think she wanted them to elaborate, so they'd talk a bit more. Then stop again. Etc. Eventually, they'd get creeped out and walk away. Even as they backed away, Lady One Question would keep the microphone pointed at them. Since she wasn't touching them, Security couldn't get involved, so it all came down to the individual celebrity. It was pure genius.

Perhaps you already knew all that though; I did mangle her name a bit. :S

[chrisvenus]

It comes back to me as I read the comment. I'd forgotten how awesome banzai was. :)

[magicalsushi.livejournal.com]

I'd like to do something like this to cold callers, and maybe keep a little log of their responses. Lady One Question wouldn't work over the phone, and nor would Mr. Shake Hands Man (obviously), but if anyone can think of something similar, ideally something with some kind of metric for keeping score - time elasped, numbers of times a certain word is used, etc...

[chrisvenus]

You could try something like lady one question...

"So what would I gain from buying your product?"

*Make encouraging noises while they answer*

When they stop repeat question with some added emphasis "But what would I *gain* from buying your product?"

Then keep asking them the same question until they hang up on you. :) The encouraging noises are designed to give them some encouragement to really try to sell rather than just give you what it says on the script and then stopping.

It could work. It'd be a bit evil though. :)

[magicalsushi.livejournal.com]

> It could work. It'd be a bit evil though. :)

Then it meets my criteria!

I'll definitely give it a go. :)

[bellus-noiseuse.livejournal.com]

"We haven't finished the conversation yet" & then to hang up on you -- funniest thing I've heard/read all day.


Oy.

You should find out who it was & call & say something absurd like "green monkeys are raining on your shoulder -- and now we're done" and then hang up.

[chrisvenus]

That'd be great. In fact, I may do that to the next sales person that calls me... I wonder if magicalsushi is reading this still because it sounds like the sort of thigns he is after given his above comments. :)