Legacy - a public service announcement

[chrisvenus]

Some of the newcomers to my journal probably won't know what Legacy is unless they made the brave move of reading the old issues of my journal. For their benefit I will explain that Legacy is a live action roleplaying game run by members of Oxford University Roleplaying Games Society every week during term time. The game changes every year and back in April we started running Legacy. SO that's the background.

So now the announcement. AS of a couple of weeks ago I stepped down from the GM team. Not because of any differences of opinion but for the sake of my mental health. There have been relatively recent posts on my mental state and it being not one of great happiness and I was dreading the idea of having to put so much time into Legacy again and had started actively hiding from the one e-mail I had to reply to on the subject.

I'm pretty sure its for the best. I let the GM team know a couple of weeks ago and they all seem cool with it. I suspect they'd rather I'd not but you can't really argue with "Its for the good of my mental stability and its better than my breaking down 2 weeks into the game leaving a big problematic hole in the GM team to worry about". Now they have plenty of time to readjust responsibilities (which needed doing anyway) and hopefully do fine without me.

I'm likely to still be involved in the game. What form that involvement will take I'm not sure and will be sorted out nearer the time, I dare say.

This is not really an official announcement, more just something so my friends know what is going on. I'll likely be sending an e-mail out nearer term time when things are more defined. I'm mainly saying this now because Legacy came up briefly in conversation the other day and I realised that people probably still assumed I was on the GM team (though of course the grapevine might have sorted that out).

So, err... yeah. End of announcement.

Comments

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Ahhh. That's a shame. :(

You sounded as though you were enjoying it, once you'd recovered from the stress levels it induced at the time. And those hit everybody involved, to some degree.

[chrisvenus]

It was rewarding in some ways but it was horrendous in others. I spent from roughly friday evening to the end of tuesday being hideously stressed and wishing I wasn't doing it. Tuesday after the game and wednesday morning feeling on a bit of a high from it and then wednesday to friday daytime trying not to think about it too much and get some R&R. My work was suffering due to the monday and tuesday getting turnsheets and news and the like in order. I am glad I did it but I know I would burnout quite spectacularly if I tried to go the distance. I did it when running Cam when I would actually try to avoid turning up to games I was running and that does nobody any favours.

I just try not to angst about this sort of thing where other people see it. The thing that makes me feel most guilty is the fact that other people had it the same as me. This is partly why it took me so long to resign (I had said I was going to at the end of term and bottled on it cos I felt it was unfair on others). However, I know I am not able to cope. If any of the others felt the same I wouldn't begrudge them resigning but they seem to be made differently such that they can cope. I'm going to blame that whole depression thing at the end of the day. Its a good scapegoat for most things.

[lord-sandwich.livejournal.com]

You have no reason to feel guilty about it. I started to get really stressed towards the end of Horizon, so I can see where you're coming from. At the end of the day you're volunteering to do this, so if you're enjoying it anymore then quitting is the right thing to do. In some ways it'll be a shame to loose you from the GM team but I know well enough myself how hard being a soceity game gm can be.

[secondhand-rick.livejournal.com]

Wise decision. It's much more important to protect your head than it is to help run a game.

[zandev.livejournal.com]

Although of course we've spoken on this in private, I should probably note this in public now you've commented:

As one of the GM team, it's sad to lose you and you made a great contribution to the game. However, your reasons for leaving are entirely understandable, and your wellbeing must come first. Hope things go better for you.

[jakemalone.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you've made the right decision, Chris. I remember how much work went into GMing and how stressful it could get when things needed doing. Better to step back if its getting too much.

[kissifa.livejournal.com]

Dude - shame to lose you, but really can't argue with the reasoning. Good luck to your brain. Let me know if any company for the filmage or the gaming is ever desired.

[mentalfirewall.livejournal.com]

It's an incredibly stressfull job and takes far too much time! The only way I coped was by not having a full time job as well. Your health must come first and it sounds you've made the right decision with that in mind.