Belated RP traum
Apr. 23rd, 2002 01:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chrisvenusI guess its cos I wasn't involved in the RP and I wasn't sure what state my character was in but now I have sorted it out and am trying to srot out some of the IC ramifications I am starting to get the traum from the death of Leonie and Rhian. Martin is in a way lost without them. As somebody else put it they were his anchor points.
Leonie who was the person he felt most like. She was the only one who really understood his feelings inside because she was the only one who was going through the same sort of thing. Just having somebody who understood and cared made such a difference.
And then there was Rhian. I can't quantify any precise reasons for why Rhian is so important to Martin. I guess she was again like family. She cared for him and didn't understand martin in quite the same way that Leonie did but in some ways that meant that when she went out of her way for him that it meant so much more. Rhian truly cared about everybody and that is what touched something deep in Martin's heart and made him care for them.
The two characters were both in some ways sisters to him. Vulnerable Leonie, hating what she was and striving to make the world a better place not to try to atone for what she was but just because she believed it was right - she needed Martin to look after her. He tried to shield her from as much of the harshness of the world that he could which wasn't much and was always there to try to remind her of who she was and what she was fighting for and that just because some people said she was evil that it didn't mean that she was.
And Rhian, the weight of the world fell upon those shoulders and she took it for as long as she was able. Her belief and care for people shone brighter than anybody else's and she believed in Martin. Nobody had ever valued or cared for Martin particularly but Rhian did. From when he was first found by the garou she did what she could to help him and teach him and later on understood him better than any other garou and did her best to stop them from driving him further into fearing what he was and giving him the space that he needed to get over some of his issues. In return Martin tried to protect her. he tried to ease some of her burden, not by taking the responsibilities himself since he was in no position to do so but by trying to help her avoid them. He strove constantly to defend her love for Leonie either by trying to put more diplomatic words over hers or by trying to stop her belief that saying what she felt was always the best move.
He loved both of them and they were closer to him than his family had ever been. Now he is left alone with two of his best friends in the world no longer with him and he is going to be lost for some time.
I keep getting touched by small things, the influence that they have had on him, Leonie in particular. Martin is likely to be performing a Rite of Passage sometime soon and he always promised that if he did that it would count as Leonie's as well. Now that she is gone it is going to count entirely as hers since he is only going to do it now in memory of her. He would turn away from the garou entirely probably if it wasn't for Leonie's memory and how much she believed that what the garou believed was correct. He can't ignore her memory and turn his back on them now.
Leonie who was the person he felt most like. She was the only one who really understood his feelings inside because she was the only one who was going through the same sort of thing. Just having somebody who understood and cared made such a difference.
And then there was Rhian. I can't quantify any precise reasons for why Rhian is so important to Martin. I guess she was again like family. She cared for him and didn't understand martin in quite the same way that Leonie did but in some ways that meant that when she went out of her way for him that it meant so much more. Rhian truly cared about everybody and that is what touched something deep in Martin's heart and made him care for them.
The two characters were both in some ways sisters to him. Vulnerable Leonie, hating what she was and striving to make the world a better place not to try to atone for what she was but just because she believed it was right - she needed Martin to look after her. He tried to shield her from as much of the harshness of the world that he could which wasn't much and was always there to try to remind her of who she was and what she was fighting for and that just because some people said she was evil that it didn't mean that she was.
And Rhian, the weight of the world fell upon those shoulders and she took it for as long as she was able. Her belief and care for people shone brighter than anybody else's and she believed in Martin. Nobody had ever valued or cared for Martin particularly but Rhian did. From when he was first found by the garou she did what she could to help him and teach him and later on understood him better than any other garou and did her best to stop them from driving him further into fearing what he was and giving him the space that he needed to get over some of his issues. In return Martin tried to protect her. he tried to ease some of her burden, not by taking the responsibilities himself since he was in no position to do so but by trying to help her avoid them. He strove constantly to defend her love for Leonie either by trying to put more diplomatic words over hers or by trying to stop her belief that saying what she felt was always the best move.
He loved both of them and they were closer to him than his family had ever been. Now he is left alone with two of his best friends in the world no longer with him and he is going to be lost for some time.
I keep getting touched by small things, the influence that they have had on him, Leonie in particular. Martin is likely to be performing a Rite of Passage sometime soon and he always promised that if he did that it would count as Leonie's as well. Now that she is gone it is going to count entirely as hers since he is only going to do it now in memory of her. He would turn away from the garou entirely probably if it wasn't for Leonie's memory and how much she believed that what the garou believed was correct. He can't ignore her memory and turn his back on them now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Martin...
Date: 2002-04-23 06:22 am (UTC)Martin was so much Leonie's big brother, and she cared for him deeply and loved him unreservedly. Martin, who believed he was a monster, and Leonie understood, because she was one too, by everything everyone believed...
I still remember that conversation. Leonie being so proud for Martin getting renoun for going and investigating the technocracy base with her. He'd laughed and said something like "it didn't mean anything to him; it was all Garou crap" and Leonie earnestly trying to explain why it wasn't, how important it was. And him saying "ok, only if it's joint renoun since if I get some, you should too". And the standing joke between them of keeping a tally of her 'renoun' that she could never have, even though she was marked with a Tear of Gaia.
Martin, her big brother. Who went from a frightened 15 year old to a grown up in his own right with a job and determination, and ability to protect others against the bullies. Who decided to go with the Garou Nation to change it for the better from the inside if he could, and went Crinos to protect Leonie the last time he saw her, his claws glowing golden in the mage-light. The person who checked out Laughs at Darkness because he had to check out his little sister's boyfriends, who came round for visits and thoroughly beat Leonie on the Playstation every time, even when she had headstarts. Who used to joke about Leonie's cooking and how appalling it was and her protesting that she couldn't taste it, so of course it was, even when she got better through practice...
Thank you for being in Leonie's life as part of her family; because you and Rhian were, as to a lesser extent Diarmid, Alex and Tim were. You made it better for her just being there, and she loved you for it.