What do you think...

[chrisvenus]

Ten thousand years in the future society is opening up a capsule and inside, cryongenically frozen, is you. They revive you and the first question they have is "So, this Chris Venus guy, tell us about him..." How would you start to describe me to people who've never met me before?

You see, I was thinking today, as I wandered around waitrose looking for my lunch, about how people perceive me. I know how I'd like to be perceived but as I thought about it what came to mind was all the annoying habits I had, all the things I'd done that might have annoyed people. And with them all the nice things I'd done to help people out without even contemplating asking for anything in return. And then things like last night when somebody said "I just assumed you were 30". I realised that I have no idea what people think of me and that just isn't good enough. So go on, how would you describe me? And be honest... And I'm intrigued by what those who don't know me well (or even those who I've never met IRL and just know on LJ) think of me from what they've seen...

Comments

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

I don't really know you well enough so all I can come up with is "tall, long-haired geek"...

I only rip off the very, very best

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

Chris is boss! He is so cool that ice cubes want to be him and have posters of him on their walls. He is too sexy not only for his shirt but for his entire wardrobe, all of which is not merely fashionable but defines fashion (but in an individualistic, offbeat-yet-stylish kind of way). Cute Goth Chicks dig him and want to get in his pants (but are too shy to ask). He grooves to the beat. Chris is strong yet gentle, confident but not arrogant, brilliant yet modest and possessed of a lightning wit that is cutting but never cynical. He is a man of the people, a icon for a generation and a living phenomenon. Chris hangs loose, but not so loose as to merit a 'Parental Advisory' sticker. He keeps his eye on the ball, does six impossible things before breakfast and still has time to sign autographs if you ask nicely. Finally, whilst it is true that Chris is not king, this is only because he does not wish to endorse antiquated autocratic forms of government.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

"So, this Chris Venus guy, tell us about him..."

Well to start with, that statue's not quite right. He's wussier than that, his hair's almost never that thoroughly brushed and his eyewear was a little less Calvin Klein and a little more NHS if you know what I mean.

"You actually MET him ? What was he like ?"

Friendly, chilled, fun. Smart guy too, except I kinda overlook that in most people on account of the company I keep. Speaking of which, who the hell are you dudes ?

"Never mind us. Tell us more of Chris Venus. What was his mission ?"

Uh - what ?

"Do they speak English in 'What' ?"

Oh wait, I know where this scene goes. How about I just answer the question ? Mission. Hmm... Y'see one thing you guys need to understand about the early 21^st Century is that people weren't really big on the whole "purpose" thing. We liked to just entertain ourselves with games and films and stuff. Chris was the same as most people in that respect. Got on with doing his thing, y'know, but that didn't entail anything very specific.

"So he didn't save the world ?"

Not while I was watching at least. He's not a "save the world" kinda guy really. More the sort of person you'd hang out and have a couple of beers with to celebrate someone else saving the world, y'know ?

"What was his job then, if not world saving ?"

Web design stuff, mostly. It's one of those jobs that requires highly skilled workers but mysteriously fails to pay well. Still, back then the divide was really between people with jobs and people without so he pretty much landed on his feet with that one.

"Tell us about the cute goth chicks !"

Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you ? Listen future dudes, if I knew lots about cute goth chicks I'd have devoted a chapter to it in my autobiography. You guys did read my autobiography, right ?

"No. Sorry. We only revived you because we found a mysterious comment in chrisvenus' blog containing an exact transcript of this conversation. Bizarre, eh ?"

[omentide.livejournal.com]

I met him once or twice and he seemed like a fine gentleman.

Why don't you ask his mother?

[scat0324.livejournal.com]

Vell Chris is just zis guy; you know?

[lathany.livejournal.com]

He's my fwend.

[chrisvenus]

In all fairness waitrose is just hte closest place to work. It'd be another 10/15 minutes at least to get to Tesco and its just not worth the bother. Not to say I'm not posh of course. :)

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

"I just assumed you were 30"

Are you sure it wasn't "I just assumed you were flirty"?