What to wear for a wedding

[chrisvenus]

[Vaguely tongue in cheek but feedback welcome - I am fully aware how much more hard work the rest of the wedding organisation is so this isn't a moan or an "I can't cope". Just thought I'd make that clear up here.]

Now normally I wouldn't be worried about what to wear for a wedding. The last one I went to I think I opted for smart trousers and a shirt, no problem. This time though is slightly different. In just under four weeks evath and the getting ahead of herself kimholding are getting married. For reasons that are not mine to go into (but suffice to say it is not a happy tale) I was asked to give away the bride. Now this, I feel, calls for something a bit more than my usual scruffy natured approach to things. Now in theory I don't reckon I need to worry too much. After all, the only time people are going to be looking at me are as I walk Kim down the aisle (and yes, this is a very weird thought for me still) and I'm pretty sure that all eyes will be on Kim and not me. However, I am acutely aware that my usual shirt and trousers will look like some random bloke is sauntering along next to her. My suit is a cheap one bought for job interviews (and has been used once, I think), not for this kind of thing.

My current plan is to see whether somewhere will hire me smart clothes for the weekend. There are plenty of wedding shops I thought I'd go into. I mean, if nothing else I quite like dressing up smart from time to time (the world needs more black tie events) but I am still unclear on what is appropriate for the father of the bride to wear. Do they usually do the uber smart thing like the best man or ushers at a wedding would (thinking about TFM and AFMs wedding where if I remember they had nice waistcoats and tails and stuff...

Now top hat and tails is too over the top. My main thought is whether I am meant to fit in with the groom and ushers or if I should look distinct from them and all that... I assume the father of the bride doesn't usually match the groom, best man, et al. but of course this isn't the traditional way of doing things in the first place...

I've just re-read Andy's mail to me and he mentions nice waistcoats in that so I might just see what he's doing and check my suit out. It might not be too bad after all? But even if it is good (its bound to fit the criteria of dark suit) what about shirt? White shirt is the way to go totally but should it be a nice one? I mean, I've got white shirts like I used to wear in school or for subfusc. Or is it more like dress shirts with at the very least the buttons covered up to make it look nicer and possibly some patterning...

If this is how much effort is involved in being part of a wedding remind me never to get married!

Comments

[timlagor.livejournal.com]

I would have said top hat and tails but the real answer is ASK KIM.
You could also try going into one of these wedding shops and asking their advice.

[vampire-kitten.livejournal.com]

possibly asking kim bad idea... she may be just a tad stressed at this point.
If have to ask couple, ask bloke since you can just match whatever he is wearing

[wimble.livejournal.com]

That's what the Best Man/Chief Bridesmaid are there to field.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Father of the bride/ giver away of the bride is as important a role as best Man, so should be at the same level of dressed uppedness as the Best man, but in different coloured waistcoat.

[chrisvenus]

Oooh... yeah, I should totally have a different coloured waistcoat. Maybe. :)

[cultureofdoubt.livejournal.com]

I think if I were in your position I'd pop in to somewhere like Walters, even if you didn't have the intention of buying, and speak to one of the chappies there who will no doubt fall over themselves to offer good advice. And drag along a random who can give a skeptical perspective when they try to flog the top hat and tails.

Then, politely say you'll continue shopping around, and then pop down to $rental_place if renting is the way you wish to go.

I'd expect if you go with a waistcoat (which is a not half bad idea I think) then your standard white shirt is fine if it's in decent condition. Might be fun to have one that you can use some nifty cufflinks with, but that's about all I'd say is required.

Course I could be totally wrong. I've never done this either :-)

[cultureofdoubt.livejournal.com]

Oh and what timlagor said.

And I feel having posted like I want to clarify the shirt thing. It's mainly that if you're wearing a tie and a waistcoat there won't be much shirt left showing, so patterniness is probably superfluous.

[vampire-kitten.livejournal.com]

Find out what/where they are hiring and book something similar from them?

Yupyup

[vilenspotens.livejournal.com]

You need to wear similar to the groom and usher. Chat to the people involved and fnd out what they're wearing

Re: Yupyup

[chrisvenus]

I forget quite how many people I know getting married soon. :)

[smallbluesphere.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised that they haven't let you know what outfit they'd like. In my experience the "FotB" does tend to (sort of) match up with the Groom and Best Man in the way of wearing a tux/morning suit in the theme of the wedding. However, it the wedding is likely to veer from the traditional You're best talking to them.

Heh, if this much effort is putting you off you really don't wanna get married, it's a lot of work (unless you elope...) :)

[chrisvenus]

To be fair I may not have made it clear but Andy did give a rough idea. My trouble is that I *worry*, to an olympic level nearly (except I couldn't compete due to stress).

And having seen friends that get married I think I will put off getting married. After all, marriage is just one step closer to father of the bride again. :)

And now I'm just being mean...

[smallbluesphere.livejournal.com]

LOL! You do know that the FotB normally makes a speach at the reception as well don't you?

;p

[taimatsu]

Yes, ask the people involved in the wedding. Find out who is co-ordinating these things, and get them to help you. I'd say hire the lot, making sure you have a co-ordinating waistcoat/neckwear or whatever; if necessary you can just walk into The Ballroom or somewhere and get them to dress you head-to-toe.

Bear in mind that you will not be wearing a jacket throughout (dancing etc) so you will want the shirty-bits to look nice too. Cufflinks good.

And do something pretty with your haaaaaair! *grin*

[chrisvenus]

What pretty things can I do with my hair? Tying it back neatly is likely to be the plan for my hair. Or should I do something else? Oh my god! I have to worry about my hair too! Argh!

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Hair... cut?

We'll want photographs :)

[vampire-kitten.livejournal.com]

I could do your hair up in a bride style :P

[malakite.livejournal.com]

Have you tried Moss Bross? You can hire quite respectable suits/waistcoats etc from them. I'm sure there's one in Oxford!

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Outfit: Lime green tutu over leopard-print leotard. Black docs. White leather gloves.

Hair: Japanese Geisha-style with steel hairpins. Royal blue highlights.

Accessories: Amber-tinted shades (small, round lenses), Tinky-winky style handbag. Mini-uzi (swanky dress version only, obviously not loaded).

Makeup: Minimalist. Just a bit of foundation, a good quality dark mascara and some glitter lipstick and nail polish.

(No charge for this advice - I do pro-bono work on Tuesdays !)

[chrisvenus]

Well, vampire_kitten seems to have volunteered to be my stylist. I'll see what she can do. I reckon if I could get proper Royal Blue Highlights in my hair it would be awesome.

[brrm.livejournal.com]

For some reason, I am reminded of this:

[jonathan mcdowell (from livejournal.com)]

FWIW we're dressing TFM and Kathy's dad in a similar fashion (Hah! Velvet! They're both going to kill me!), which will match what I'm wearing.

[hrhianne.livejournal.com]

Wear a black leather trench coat and enough weapons for an armoury. Just, you know, incase things go Kill Bill.

Given my idea of dress clothing doesn't go much beyond tux or dress I'm not likely to be much help. But shaving juuust beforehand does sound good.

And no worrying, or I'll have to work on ways to distract you from it.

[ms-saffie.livejournal.com]

Do NOT buy a white shirt with *any* sort of patterning, even if it is a white one woven into the fabric. They're horrid, and I may have to tear it off your back and set on fire with one of my cigarettes. Humph.

[chrisvenus]

Wait... you'll tear my clothes off? :)