A strange mood
Feb. 21st, 2002 01:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chrisvenusI'm in a strange mood and I want to recorded it for the benefit of all those present. However, I can't really put it into words. There are however I think a lot of words that might get close and maybe in writing down those words I will be able to find the words I am searching for. (if you don't want to read that stuff though I will start rambling about my life afterwards).
On a large scale I feel like I want my life to be something different but I don't know what or even why. I am fairly contented with my life at the moment and can't think of any things that I particularly want to change. That and the feeling doesn't seem to be a life changing scale of thing. Just an odd mood.
I think maybe I might want to be sociable, to see people to interact with the world and have some fun. On the other hand I can't think of anything *specific* that I want to do. There's nobody I really want to see enough to put me in a weird mood, nothing that I feel I should do and I have plenty of fun and talk to a fair few people anyway.
That having been said the thought of a night in is seeming not good. Its odd since this is my usual thing and I have plenty to be going on with and so on. I think I will have to go out tonight but I need to work out where.
I guess this mood might just be an unfounded longing. I want something and I want it a lot. I just have no idea what it is that i want.
Maybe this is my mind trying to tell me to dig out some of those things that I really want and have given up on as being stupid, unrealistic or just downright impractical.
Another thought. Its got a hint to it of regret. My mind keeps flashing to people I've lost contact with and not seen for some time. Close friends and people that seemed cool but I never got to know that well. Maybe my mind is whistfully on the "what could have been"s as the gap between realities weakens and allows my soul a chance to see where it could ahve been now. (And yes, that last bit was deliberate twoddle)
And as a last, perhaps tongue in cheek comment, maybe I need to get myself laid tonight? Its been far too long... And sorry if that was TMI (Too much information) for anybody. :)
On a slight tangent though, in four weeks time I will have started my holidays. I'm taking time off over easter so I have two weeks off with the easter weekend in the middle (tactical use of bank holidays to reduce the number of days of holiday taken).
I should take a proper holiday at some point too. Something a bit more planned than my last one which was my weekend in scotland. That was great but far too knackering. And not really much of a holiday since I didn't really do much except chat to friends and roleplay. All very fun but not exactly something different.
I think I'll ressurect my plans of going to the US for a holiday. I've had some offers of crash space from the various people I know over there. And there is a new star wars film coming out that I could go and watch and thus see it about two or three months before it would come out over here...
I guess I should start talking to people and planning this if I am going to do it. I think I just about have enough money at the moment. Though I have some large expenses that need settling at the moment. Car tax (overdue) and house bills which will set me bank a fair few quids. HAving just checked balance (the joys of online stuff) I find that I have enough money to my name to probably get flights (no idea how much they cost though) and so I might look at the possibility of taking a couple of weeks off to go explore the New World. I'll have to work out estimated costs. Anybody who knows about prices of stuff care to help me out with some suggestions of how much it will cost to get from UK->US (and back after prefereably) and how much to get about and how much for accomodation (for those times when I can't find a nice friendly floor to stay on)?
Anyway, work is beckoning me once more. I will try to post more often. How many times ahve i said *that* now though? :)
On a large scale I feel like I want my life to be something different but I don't know what or even why. I am fairly contented with my life at the moment and can't think of any things that I particularly want to change. That and the feeling doesn't seem to be a life changing scale of thing. Just an odd mood.
I think maybe I might want to be sociable, to see people to interact with the world and have some fun. On the other hand I can't think of anything *specific* that I want to do. There's nobody I really want to see enough to put me in a weird mood, nothing that I feel I should do and I have plenty of fun and talk to a fair few people anyway.
That having been said the thought of a night in is seeming not good. Its odd since this is my usual thing and I have plenty to be going on with and so on. I think I will have to go out tonight but I need to work out where.
I guess this mood might just be an unfounded longing. I want something and I want it a lot. I just have no idea what it is that i want.
Maybe this is my mind trying to tell me to dig out some of those things that I really want and have given up on as being stupid, unrealistic or just downright impractical.
Another thought. Its got a hint to it of regret. My mind keeps flashing to people I've lost contact with and not seen for some time. Close friends and people that seemed cool but I never got to know that well. Maybe my mind is whistfully on the "what could have been"s as the gap between realities weakens and allows my soul a chance to see where it could ahve been now. (And yes, that last bit was deliberate twoddle)
And as a last, perhaps tongue in cheek comment, maybe I need to get myself laid tonight? Its been far too long... And sorry if that was TMI (Too much information) for anybody. :)
On a slight tangent though, in four weeks time I will have started my holidays. I'm taking time off over easter so I have two weeks off with the easter weekend in the middle (tactical use of bank holidays to reduce the number of days of holiday taken).
I should take a proper holiday at some point too. Something a bit more planned than my last one which was my weekend in scotland. That was great but far too knackering. And not really much of a holiday since I didn't really do much except chat to friends and roleplay. All very fun but not exactly something different.
I think I'll ressurect my plans of going to the US for a holiday. I've had some offers of crash space from the various people I know over there. And there is a new star wars film coming out that I could go and watch and thus see it about two or three months before it would come out over here...
I guess I should start talking to people and planning this if I am going to do it. I think I just about have enough money at the moment. Though I have some large expenses that need settling at the moment. Car tax (overdue) and house bills which will set me bank a fair few quids. HAving just checked balance (the joys of online stuff) I find that I have enough money to my name to probably get flights (no idea how much they cost though) and so I might look at the possibility of taking a couple of weeks off to go explore the New World. I'll have to work out estimated costs. Anybody who knows about prices of stuff care to help me out with some suggestions of how much it will cost to get from UK->US (and back after prefereably) and how much to get about and how much for accomodation (for those times when I can't find a nice friendly floor to stay on)?
Anyway, work is beckoning me once more. I will try to post more often. How many times ahve i said *that* now though? :)