eight legged freaks
Aug. 21st, 2002 10:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chrisvenusI hate the little buggers. Like, really hate them. Yesterday (or maybe the day before) I had to remove one from my bedroom. That was a fairly leggy class 4 (see note at bottom for spider classes). Then earlier tonight (approximately 2100 hours) my housemate comes along and says that he has found a spider in the bathroom. I've been brave recently with spiders so I say I'll deal with it. HE counsels against but I go for a scouting expedition anyway. It was a class 5. The biggest spider I have seen outside of a zoo or tele. IT really wasn't going to take the pint glass treatment. He would have got himself a bin (an empty one was nearby) but he was right next to the toilet so we couldn't get it over.
In the end I got myself a bowl from downstairs and some mortgage information leaflets. After much hesitation and deliberation including leaving the room to conference with Matt I did it. I walked back in the room and slammed the bowl over the poor spider before he realised what had happened. Normally I get the strength up to trap spiders by convincing myself that the spider is probably more scared than me. This time I wasn't so sure.
The mortage leaflet was slipped behind him and then there was brief chaos as we tried to lift both the flimsy piece of paper and the bowl (which we couldn't see through) off the wall without letting the by now highly enraged spider escape. A folder came to our rescue and the pair of us then took the spider far enough away from the house that we didn't think he'd be able to find his way back.
Returning to the house victorious I found my victory was short lived. As I was looking for something adn wandering round the house more movement caught my eye. A class 4 ran across the hallway and stopped near one wall. By now I was feeling somewhat blase about it all so just casually wandered to the kitchen, picked up a pint glass from the draining board and stuffed it over him while I sauntered off to find a magazine (Viz as it turns out) to slip underneath him. He was removed forthwith after a bit of an examination. He was definitely near the top end of a class 4 but certainly not approaching the size of the earlier class 5.
And what do I blame for all this? I blame TV. Well movies anyway. Well, not even movies generically. I think this new film "Eight legged freaks" or wahtever has given them ideas. Obviously a few of them in the cinema saw it and said "FAntastic I think we'll do that" (not sure what since I've not seen the film and am unlikely to unless I have somebody suitable to cuddle up to. Preferably somebody suitable who has a shotgun in case of spiders. Maybe a flamethrower actually, can get the littler ones more easily than with a shotgun...
Anyway, I reckon they saw this film and have been telling their mates for the last few weeks. It explains it, it really does. Anyway, that is enough story recapping. Hopefully I won't have nightmares tonight. IT may be worthy of note though that the only spider related nightmare I have had recently had a class 5 spider in it. Probably smaller than the one I saw earlier though it is hard to say. This one managed to ambush me though by crawling about in my bed while I was asleep. I work up screaming and was out of bed quicker than you can say... err... "I". I can always sleep in the lounge if I worry too much in my bedroom though. :)
Footnote - Classes of spiders
Class 1 - those really little ones that are the size of a pinhead. Not scary really. Unless you are a microscopic fly.
Class 2 - the little ones that don't really sare anyone. big enough to cause concern and you probably wouldn't want it walking down your arm but not actually that scary.
Class 3 - the bigger ones. Often found in sinks and baths. If on a flat surface any old glass will usually do the trick in trapping them and then a bit of paper and he's yours to go out the window.
Class 4 - similar to a class 3 but only a pint glass will do. Anything smaller and you run the risk of not trapping him fully and *that* is a nightmare scenario.
Class 5 - some spiders are too big to be trappable by pint glasses. You don't want to face one of these on a dark ngiht. These are scary buggers and no mistaking.
Class 6 - we're now getting onto your big MF spiders. These are the tarantulas and that sort of thing. Generally not found roaming the house so not an issue.
Class 7 - Film spiders. This is the old tarzan style giant spiders. WE're talking three feet high minimum now or it just isn't cutting the mustard. Recommended technique is some kind of automatic shotgun or preferably high explosives. Also reccomended equipment is a fairly sturdy set of underwear.
In the end I got myself a bowl from downstairs and some mortgage information leaflets. After much hesitation and deliberation including leaving the room to conference with Matt I did it. I walked back in the room and slammed the bowl over the poor spider before he realised what had happened. Normally I get the strength up to trap spiders by convincing myself that the spider is probably more scared than me. This time I wasn't so sure.
The mortage leaflet was slipped behind him and then there was brief chaos as we tried to lift both the flimsy piece of paper and the bowl (which we couldn't see through) off the wall without letting the by now highly enraged spider escape. A folder came to our rescue and the pair of us then took the spider far enough away from the house that we didn't think he'd be able to find his way back.
Returning to the house victorious I found my victory was short lived. As I was looking for something adn wandering round the house more movement caught my eye. A class 4 ran across the hallway and stopped near one wall. By now I was feeling somewhat blase about it all so just casually wandered to the kitchen, picked up a pint glass from the draining board and stuffed it over him while I sauntered off to find a magazine (Viz as it turns out) to slip underneath him. He was removed forthwith after a bit of an examination. He was definitely near the top end of a class 4 but certainly not approaching the size of the earlier class 5.
And what do I blame for all this? I blame TV. Well movies anyway. Well, not even movies generically. I think this new film "Eight legged freaks" or wahtever has given them ideas. Obviously a few of them in the cinema saw it and said "FAntastic I think we'll do that" (not sure what since I've not seen the film and am unlikely to unless I have somebody suitable to cuddle up to. Preferably somebody suitable who has a shotgun in case of spiders. Maybe a flamethrower actually, can get the littler ones more easily than with a shotgun...
Anyway, I reckon they saw this film and have been telling their mates for the last few weeks. It explains it, it really does. Anyway, that is enough story recapping. Hopefully I won't have nightmares tonight. IT may be worthy of note though that the only spider related nightmare I have had recently had a class 5 spider in it. Probably smaller than the one I saw earlier though it is hard to say. This one managed to ambush me though by crawling about in my bed while I was asleep. I work up screaming and was out of bed quicker than you can say... err... "I". I can always sleep in the lounge if I worry too much in my bedroom though. :)
Footnote - Classes of spiders
Class 1 - those really little ones that are the size of a pinhead. Not scary really. Unless you are a microscopic fly.
Class 2 - the little ones that don't really sare anyone. big enough to cause concern and you probably wouldn't want it walking down your arm but not actually that scary.
Class 3 - the bigger ones. Often found in sinks and baths. If on a flat surface any old glass will usually do the trick in trapping them and then a bit of paper and he's yours to go out the window.
Class 4 - similar to a class 3 but only a pint glass will do. Anything smaller and you run the risk of not trapping him fully and *that* is a nightmare scenario.
Class 5 - some spiders are too big to be trappable by pint glasses. You don't want to face one of these on a dark ngiht. These are scary buggers and no mistaking.
Class 6 - we're now getting onto your big MF spiders. These are the tarantulas and that sort of thing. Generally not found roaming the house so not an issue.
Class 7 - Film spiders. This is the old tarzan style giant spiders. WE're talking three feet high minimum now or it just isn't cutting the mustard. Recommended technique is some kind of automatic shotgun or preferably high explosives. Also reccomended equipment is a fairly sturdy set of underwear.