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This morning I was in a very strange frame of mind. Last night I fell in love with a girl of my dreams. Yeah, no metaphor there, she was a girl from my dreams. The dream is mostly faded now but I still remember how much I was in love with this girl. I also remember that she started off as a fairly cute (in the non-sexual way) dragon. The reason its weird is because the emotions of that dream lingered far more than any of the images did. At the point I woke up I know I could only remember a couple of things about her. I'm not sure I ever knew her name. And given how bad I am at describing even real people that I know very well I can't tell you what she looked like in any real meaningful way. But despite not being able to remember any of this I could still remember how I felt about her and its weird.

Its weird because I know she never existed outside of my dreams and its weird because I know the feelings are not real and will fade and in fact already have for the most part. In some ways it was kind of nice though because it is a really great feeling to meet somebody knew and just totally hit it off with them and in some ways the loss is even quite nice because I know from experience that it won't last. And I think its that last part that is weird. The emotions have that same ephemeral feel as a dream has. Most dreams fade from memory pretty fast unless you make an effort to remember them. And even then I'm sure you remember trying to remember them more than remember the dream itself. And so the emotions I feel are fleeting things that feel unreal but are still there. Harder to shrug off as unreal because they are less affected by the rational parts of your mind.

It's all around a very weird feeling. On the plus side its better than getting the same thing except where the girl is real. That can make for some very strange moments in the morning. In this case though I'm just kind of hoping that I'll meet her again in another dream sometime. :)

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chrisvenus

May 2011

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